Nokia must die

(13:53:37) Dougie: I think I just blew out a vein in my neck
(13:53:51) Quiggy: me too
(13:58:10) Dougie: ...
(13:58:32) Quiggy: is its mouth ejaculating??
(13:59:07) Dougie: I... don't... WANT... to know
(13:59:24) Dougie: does he have a gold tooth!?
(13:59:37) Quiggy: apparently
(14:00:21) Dougie: oh no I spilled my drugs!
(14:00:33) Quiggy: hahahaha
(14:02:18) Dougie: elevator doors of DOOM
(14:02:49) Quiggy: *holds gun to head*
(14:02:53) Quiggy: *pulls trigger*
(14:03:01) Dougie: run children run!
(14:03:02) Quiggy: *loads gun*
(14:03:04) Quiggy: *tries again*
(14:03:14) Quiggy: OH GOD!
(14:03:19) Quiggy: IT'S JACKO!
(14:04:22) Dougie: yes, right there Billy
(14:04:35) Quiggy: ...
(14:05:18) Dougie: oh god
(14:05:33) Quiggy: IT BURNS!!!!!
(14:06:51) Dougie: police lineup
(14:07:04) Quiggy: Tittaho???
(14:07:07) Quiggy: TITTAHO???
(14:07:18) Dougie: change it to tittava
(14:08:48) Dougie: serious case of lice
(14:09:02) Quiggy: hahahaha
(14:09:16) Quiggy: send that in to Dave as a Brain Takeover Alert
(14:09:25) Dougie: you can
(14:09:57) Dougie: I think those 'shrooms were bad
(14:10:09) Quiggy: hahahaha
(14:10:58) Dougie: save our souls
(14:11:24) Quiggy: you call that SHOW TEETH?
(14:13:38) Dougie: holy shit
(14:13:56) Quiggy: double-ewe tee eff?
(14:14:23) Dougie: it's just a jump to the left!
(14:14:36) Quiggy: indeed
(14:14:53) Quiggy: were these all done in Mario Paint or something?
(14:15:09) Dougie: [no comment]
(14:15:25) Quiggy: I'm gonna have nightmares
(14:16:44) Dougie: I... oh, god!
(14:17:01) Quiggy: make it stop
(14:17:03) Quiggy: !
(14:17:14) Dougie: I can't!!!!!!!!
(14:17:30) Quiggy: please tell me these were drawn by a hobo!
(14:17:42) Dougie: shiny white!
(14:17:54) Quiggy: OH MY GOD!
(14:18:19) Dougie: he's sucking out my sooooooooooul!

Howdy pardner

Sheriff Geek-Ninja (in White Suit) contemplates his 701 kills, the fact that his body is entirely composed of gunshots (note his missing face, a casualty to a missile), and where to go from here.

I'm helpful!

(19:53:28) Quiggy: in what chapter of TKM does Atticus say that its a sin to kill a mockingbird?
(19:56:50) Dougie: eleventeen
(19:57:08) Quiggy: thanks
(19:57:15) Dougie: welcome

Think Different 

What the hell!? 

Bear with me

This is a long one, but there's a point. See, I'm fairly sure this girl has a thing for me. One indication is that she tends to take everything I say seriously. She didn't even notice when I turned Ghetto on her. Anyway... Botherly'd.

(21:24:37) Sonja: hello again
(21:24:42) Dougie: well hello!
(21:24:49) Dougie: how are things?
(21:25:02) Sonja: ok
(21:25:21) Sonja: i'm watching indiana jones
(21:25:24) Sonja: it's quite fun
(21:25:35) Dougie: which one?
(21:25:54) Sonja: the last crusade
(21:25:59) Dougie: ah
(21:26:03) Sonja: yeah it's classic
(21:26:10) Dougie: totally
(21:27:06) Sonja: especially when they're in the castle and sean connery says "JUNIOR!"
(21:27:34) Dougie: I [heart] Sean Connery
(21:28:13) Sonja: me too!
(21:28:18) Sonja: he was the best bond
(21:28:36) Dougie: totally
(21:28:48) Dougie: Pierce Brosnan's a poncey poofter
(21:28:56) Sonja: are you going to see the new indiana movie when it comes out?
(21:29:13) Sonja: i can't wait, even if ford is old and grey
(21:29:33) Dougie: definitely
(21:30:10) Sonja: i like brosnan, but he just doesn't have enough class
(21:30:31) Dougie: he's a pretty boy
(21:31:02) Dougie: I don't have time for pretty boys
(21:31:24) Sonja: i make time
(21:31:28) Sonja: ok that sounded bad
(21:31:29) Dougie: ooh
(21:31:31) Dougie: nah
(21:31:33) Dougie: it was sassy
(21:32:25) Sonja: haha
(21:33:14) Sonja: well, of all the "actors', name one that could pull off bond
(21:33:32) Dougie: Sean Connery
(21:34:03) Sonja: under 50
(21:34:16) Dougie: ooh
(21:34:27) Dougie: Sean Connery thirty years ago?
(21:34:48) Sonja: yes
(21:35:13) Sonja: did you know they named cary grant the no. 1 actor of all time?
(21:35:18) Sonja: i beg to differ
(21:35:27) Dougie: preposterous
(21:35:50) Dougie: Gregory Peck
(21:35:53) Sonja: true, he put the s in suave but he only has one expression
(21:35:56) Dougie: so Gregory Peck
(21:36:02) Sonja: oh yes gregory peck
(21:36:11) Dougie: woooo!
(21:36:17) Sonja: yes please
(21:36:33) Dougie: mmmm mmmm
(21:37:03) Sonja: i vote audrey for no. 2
(21:40:06) Sonja: ben kingsley is pretty amazing too
(21:40:21) Dougie: sho' nuff
(21:40:26) Dougie: true dat
(21:41:15) Sonja: i mean, have you seen gandhi?
(21:41:30) Dougie: no, has he finally put on some weight?
(21:42:20) Sonja: you'd be surprized
(21:42:45) Sonja: i'm his no.1 fan
(21:43:20) Dougie: hey, who isn't?
(21:43:49) Dougie: so, what's shakin'?
(21:43:52) Sonja: wait, are we talking about gandhi or kingsley?
(21:44:01) Sonja: both?
(21:44:06) Dougie: both
(21:44:28) Sonja: ok good
(21:44:42) Sonja: um, nothing really is shakin'
(21:44:53) Sonja: except i'm going to california next week
(21:44:57) Dougie: oh nice
(21:45:21) Sonja: yup
(21:45:28) Dougie: what part of Cali are you gonna be in?
(21:45:43) Sonja: san fransisco
(21:45:48) Dougie: very nice
(21:45:57) Sonja: but i'm making my mom drive us to monterey
(21:46:27) Sonja: i'm going to bring steinbeck!
(21:46:38) Dougie: *shudder*
(21:46:44) Dougie: Steinbeck is a jerk
(21:46:59) Sonja: how so?
(21:47:06) Dougie: Monterey is nice, though
(21:47:06) Dougie: well
(21:47:17) Dougie: he never phoned his mom on her birthday
(21:47:41) Sonja: that's sad
(21:47:41) Dougie: and I hated Of Mice and Men
(21:47:50) Sonja: his books were a little naturalistic too...
(21:47:54) Dougie: yeah
(21:48:01) Sonja: i haven't read that
(21:48:06) Dougie: good
(21:48:07) Dougie: don't
(21:48:10) Sonja: ok
(21:48:24) Sonja: well, gotta go!
(21:48:33) Dougie: byez!

Zorz code

(18:43:54) Quiggy: yoZorz
(18:44:18) Dougie: noZorz
(18:44:39) Quiggy: hiZorz
(18:44:59) Dougie: biZorz
(18:45:17) Quiggy: helloZorz
(18:45:45) Dougie: yellowZorz
(18:46:09) Quiggy: no-rhymingZorz
(18:46:26) Dougie: go-slimingZorz
(18:46:48) Quiggy: Zorz
(18:47:13) Dougie: Zorz
(18:47:28) Quiggy: fuckZorz
(18:47:45) Dougie: duckZorz
(18:47:57) Quiggy: stop saying Zorz! .... Zorz
(18:49:32) Dougie: I won'tZorz
(18:49:42) Quiggy: haZorz
(18:49:46) Quiggy: doesn't rhymeZorz
(18:50:24) Dougie: you're a clownZorz
(18:50:49) Quiggy: nor does thatZorz
(18:51:21) Dougie: you're a piece of scatZorz
(18:51:50) Quiggy: you have scat fetishZorz
(18:52:03) Dougie: you're shaped like a radishZorz
(18:52:16) Quiggy: orangeZorz!
(18:52:18) Quiggy: haZorz!
(18:52:25) Dougie: baZorz
(18:52:39) Quiggy: orangeZorz
(18:52:54) Dougie: duck a l'orangeZorz
(18:53:09) Quiggy: you can't rhyme orange with orangeZorz
(18:53:37) Dougie: I just didZorz
(18:53:51) Quiggy: you're going to post this on Botherly, aren't youZorz?

z0mg, I am so 1337 

Où êtes-vous, pantalon?

Doug: Avez-vous mes pantalon?
Emma: Non, désolée.
Doug: Zut alors.
Emma: Pourquoi?
Doug: Je suis sans pantalon!
Emma: Où est les?
Doug: Je ne sais pas...
Doug: Ils ont allé!