Who's on first?

4:35:59 PM Ben: hey
4:36:12 PM Dougie: howdy
4:36:21 PM Ben: what's up?
4:36:36 PM Dougie: downloading Talladega Nights
4:36:38 PM Dougie: you?
4:37:23 PM Ben: Talladega Nights?
4:37:25 PM Ben: you disgust me
4:37:41 PM Dougie: it's not like I'm spending money on it
4:37:50 PM Ben: still
4:38:08 PM Dougie: and at least I've gotten to second base
4:38:17 PM Ben: what?
4:38:21 PM Ben: where did that come from?
4:38:27 PM Dougie: left field

Guitar Heroism

[12:35] Ben: so soon your guitar demise will be at hand
[12:35] Ben: sadly I have to go...but if I didn't rest assured that I would be practicing right now
[12:35] Dougie: right
[12:35] Dougie: bye
[12:35] Ben: one day and one day soon I shall blow you away with my masterful licks
[12:35] Dougie: hahahahaha
[12:35] Ben: coupled with the awesome goodness of my dancing skills
[12:36] Dougie: you're going to blow me
[12:36] Dougie: with licks
[12:36] Ben: I HATE YOU SO MUCH
[12:36] Meebo Message: Ben is offline

Dilf

9:06:43 PM Ben: I'm going to be looking at the gay old man beard porn so much in these next few days

Caught out

9:52:31 PM Dougie: I'm wearing my tightest pair of pants
9:52:37 PM Ben: Ziggy
9:52:39 PM Dougie: for a while I was forbidden by the family from wearing them
9:52:44 PM Ben: what
9:52:46 PM Ben: take them off
9:52:47 PM Ben: right now
9:52:52 PM Ben: I don't even want to think about this
9:52:54 PM Dougie: I thought you'd never ask
9:52:55 PM Dougie: :-*
9:53:01 PM Ben: noooooooooo!

Classic

9:35:19 PM Dougie: RING RING
9:35:53 PM Quiggy: hello?
9:36:08 PM Dougie: Hi is this the lady that washes?
9:36:20 PM Quiggy: No.
9:36:27 PM Dougie: Oh you dirty thing!!
9:36:33 PM Quiggy: ....
9:36:40 PM Dougie: CLICK

Another one bites the dust

Year, that is. Yes, it's Botherly's third birthday. There's been laughs and tears and bile and sweat, it's been good.

Where babies come from (and where they go)

[18:58] Ben: flying pigs carrying bacon and sausage
[18:58] Ben: what is wrong with that
[18:58] Dougie: it's just like storks with babies
[18:59] Ben: no, no it's not
[18:59] Ben: assuming babies are not harvested from stork flesh and then consumed
[18:59] Dougie: exactly like it

I have a reputation to maintain

[20:16] Ben: I need to compile a list of my favorite weapons...
[20:17] Ben: favorite light weapon: sickle, favorite one-handed weapon: flail, favorite two-handed weapon: halberd, favorite exotic weapon: dire flail (barring the spiked chain)
[20:17] Dougie: shut the hell up
[20:17] Ben: at least I didn't explain why each of those is better than all the rest in its category!
[20:18] Dougie: at least I didn't block you
[20:18] Dougie: yet
[20:18] Ben: what did I do?
[20:18] Dougie: make me look worse by association
[20:18] Ben: yeah, I make you look worse...
[20:19] Dougie: uhh
[20:19] Dougie: yeah
[20:19] Dougie: you do
[20:19] Ben: shut up!

He's that friend

[18:13] Ben: I have had it with these motherfucking viruses in my motherfucking throat
[18:13] Dougie: so this afternoon
[18:14] Dougie: I was on the van
[18:14] Dougie: and this girl asked me what kind of friends I had
[18:14] Dougie: and I said, well, they're all pretty varied
[18:15] Dougie: and she asked if any of my friends were crazy
[18:15] Dougie: and first I said, well, define crazy
[18:15] Dougie: and then I thought for a second
[18:16] Dougie: and told her about this one friend of mine who was planning to cultivate bacteria that he gathered to use against the kids who picked on him
[18:17] Dougie: and then everyone in the van started laughing
[18:17] Ben: you know what I hate?
[18:17] Dougie: laws against bestiality?
[18:17] Ben: you
[18:17] Ben: wait there are laws against it?
[18:18] Ben: how...how do they enforce them?

Moon bounce

[22:51] Dougie: that would be a pretty appropriate way for you to die
[22:52] Ben: true
[22:52] Ben: playing in a small child's fun thing